By looking at almost any of the signs and decorations hanging in the windows of shops bordering the Fayetteville Town Square, it would be easy to tell that it certainly is “the most wonderful time of the year.” Colorful glittering lights created a canopy of holiday cheer for the annual festivities. The cozy town nestled in the Ozarks almost rivals the holiday cheer of the fabled Whoville and might even cause the Grinch to slip into a crooked smile. This year though, Fayettevillians were gifted something extra special.
On December 5th, actress and New York Times bestselling author, Jennette McCurdy, slid down the chimney of the Fayetteville Town Center to deliver a moderated Q&A as part of the University of Arkansas’ Distinguished Lectures Committee series.
With the event center’s banquet room almost completely full, McCurdy shared her story that was certainly not all peace and joy.
For more than 20 years, McCurdy has been proving her multitude of talents with more than 100 credits under her belt between film and TV. Her most recent claim to fame is chronicled in the unabridged details surrounding her life and climb to stardom in her newly released memoir, I’m Glad My Mom Died. In the inspiring book of resilience and independence, McCurdy uses candor and dark humor as she dives into her struggles as a former child actor—including eating disorders, addiction, and a complicated relationship with her overbearing mother—and how she reclaimed control of her life.
Pushed into acting by her mother, their relationship was the catalyst for McCurdy’s memoir. Written in first person as if its unfolding, McCurdy’s book is a collection of 90 vignettes starting at 6 years of age. She described how her stories honor herself. McCurdy stated that she “feels the safest and most like herself when she’s writing. No muddiness. No guilt. I’m just able to say what I want to say.”
While McCurdy did speak some on her book, a majority of the evening was spent talking about her experience in therapy and breaking down the stigmas of mental health – even giving a nod to the psychology majors in the room.
Having been in therapy for 6 years, McCurdy wanted “to put a bit of humor into a darker topic.”
“Denial is a good form of comedy,” she said as she touched on taboo subjects like addiction and destructive coping methods.
McCurdy discussed eating disorders and unrealistic goals for body image – her own experience with this and how it all shifted when she was able to accept the things she didn’t like about her body and focusing on new goals, like building a life worth living.
The star used her wittiness to keep the crowd laughing as she talked about her darker past as a child actress, referring to memories like, her mom chasing her dad around with a kitchen knife as the young child cheered her mother on in admiration. McCurdy said she, “just didn’t understand and that’s the issue people have to deal with as a child.”
McCurdy spent a good portion of time cracking jokes about it all and even flipping her roles, asking the moderator questions about the field of psychology. Laughter filled the room from the entire audience as McCurdy asked the interpreter how to sign the “F Word”.
Her lecture was an utter advocation for therapy. She described her mental health as a metaphorical soda can. “Shake the soda and it will explode but if you crack it open little by little, it relieves the pressure.”
McCurdy told the audience how she “was able to shed some of her baggage from being wounded in the past,” through her journey into therapy and working hard on herself. Like Rafiki says in The Lion King, “The past can hurt. But the way I see it, you can either run from it or learn from it.”
The distinguished guest described how one of the greatest things she learned “was how to set boundaries,” and encouraged the audience to “only let yourself be surrounded by people who support you at your best self but will also call you out at your worst self and to build a network of love and support.”
McCurdy ended the Q&A with a quote about therapy, “you go to therapy to deal with the people who won’t (go to therapy). Everyone could benefit from therapy, but you must do the work to find the right therapist that’s a good fit for you and your own healing.” She touched on the cost of therapy and acknowledged the concern of what more can be done to serve people’s mental health.
McCurdy then wrapped the evening up by answering some very heartfelt questions from students with very considerate and genuine answers followed by an empowering statement of her own pride of being a woman, which in turn, was met with a resonating sound of applause.
Her final piece of advice was one that she wished she could have told her younger self – “Just focus on doing good and everything else will align.”
McCurdy is currently developing a feature film, which she wrote and will direct, and has recently closed a deal to write her debut fiction novel. McCurdy has also been honored as part of the 2022 TIME 100 Next list, a compilation of emerging leaders from around the world who are shaping the future and defining the next generation of leadership.